Snark v Lark: Verizon v. the Ring

Snark V Lark returns today, form of

Grace in small things

Snark: My Verizon episode:
i have been trying for week to pay my Verizon internet and Fios (that’s Tee Vee for those unititiated) bill. It has not been easy (harken back to my long-fought battle circa 2005 to cancel a Verizon account never installed for which I was billed $29.99, plus late fees every month.)

This time around, I ordered TV and internet when I moved in. I should have known there was trouble from the start. Trying to track down my (it should go without saying) late installation, no one seemed to know my account number and when I entered my contact number, because it happens to be a Verizon cell phone (my only phone) , the automated system kept sending me to Verizon wireless, needless to say a complete separate operation from Verizon central.

So, so far, I have (with Verizon the not wireless):

*an account number for my verizon, not-wireless account, (TV and internet?) maybe, who can say?

*a “phone number” for that account(that begins with 966, which I’m told means “you have fios on your cell phone” umm?

* an ONLINE Account # listed on the same bill, p. 3, no particularly bold font noting this “other number”

And so I’m trying to sign in online so I can pay said bill.

I’m asked for my phone number.

I enter the fake one. Error message.
I enter my real (cell) one. “Would you like Verizon Wireless?”
I click on “I don’t have a phone number” and get twisted through a series of prompts to sign up. None of them work.

So I call Verizon.

Customer service rep #1 (after getting the standard 15 min. runaround, transfer to verizon wireless, transfer back to “repair?” etc.) I get a person (AGENT. AGENT) who says (and I quote though I can’t guarantee the spelling):
” You have to have a “dalton and dry loop for the internet. but you can’t do that. because you set up with a cell phone. you have fios on your cell phone.”
Me: ??
Her: you need to call your cell phone provider.
Me:? Verizon? I have… what?
Her: mmm hmm your cell phone provider. Thanks for calling Verizon. Bye!

Customer service rep #2 was very friendly and kind and spent a good 10 minutes with me saying:
“see on the sign-on page where it says ” just pay bill now”
me: no.
her: yes, see it, right there.
me: it’s not there.
her: (laughing) welp, i’m looking right at it
Me: yah, i think you have to be signed in for that.

It goes on like that for a while, and somehow, on a whim, I decide to enter the “online account number” (yah, that one on p. 3 in the tiny print, with no real explanation). It works! So now (in addition to everything above) I have:

* a user name (i selected)

*an account name (my last name, first spelled wrong)

Also I still have verizon wireless and would love to combine these all together but…

I DO NOT have:

* a verizon landline. this seems to equate to root of all evil.

To be continued….

And yet, for all this, today was a good day because

Lark: Several months ago my mom found and brought me my great-grandmother’s, my Nany’s, platinum wedding ring. I didn’t know we had it. In its hand-painted, heart-shaped wooden box, I pulled it out and realized it matched exactly the antique-style engagement ring I somehow knew I wanted and now adore, more than any piece of jewelry I’ve ever owned. I tried it on but thought it felt small, so back in its box, it went and into my work bag. It’s engraved with their initials, the date of their nuptials and etched, in unique and perfect simplicity. Not wanting to ruin its unbroken seal, the very essence of the ring’s meaning, I was afraid to resize it, but thought I would check.

Well today I took it out of that heart-shaped red box once more. And the jeweler put it on his measuring stick. 5 and a quarter, he said.

5 1/4? That’s my size. Exactly.

So he smiled and put it on my finger. And the thing is? It fit. Like a ring.

And filled me with warmth and connection to my past. I went home and lit my same Nany’s silver Shabbos candlesticks and felt warm and lucky and not about Verizon at all (till tomorrow anyway).

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  1. Miss Penny Lane said,

    Wrote on February 7, 2009 @ 1:09 am

    love the story about the ring! and the shabbos candles (i say shabbat, you say shabbos; tomato, tomato!)

    Miss Penny Lanes last post: Suck it, Beyonce

  2. robert bourne said,

    Wrote on February 7, 2009 @ 9:36 am

    I think you have a lot of nerve not having a Verizon land line…:)

    robert bournes last post: The Beggar

  3. Meg said,

    Wrote on February 7, 2009 @ 10:09 am

    Verizon’s website is uber-confusing. I spent a while getting my new cell phone set up on Thursday- had to call 3 times and every time, someone was right there and “helpful”, except that I received incomplete help every time. Though bottom line is, it works perfectly now. It just took 90 minutes for that to happen. GRRR.

    Megs last post: House guests

  4. washwords said,

    Wrote on February 7, 2009 @ 4:48 pm

    thanks all! I know, robert, no landline!!! I’m the devil. if only i had the “dalton/ dry loop” seriously, wtf.

    and meg, yes! and confusing web site would be bad enough but it’s actually broken too, AND confusing.

    p.s. “our automatic payment system is down. please try again” oh well. guess it’s freeee.

    p.p.s I have to order another box for a new tv soon. I’m afraid. i’m very afraid.

  5. washwords said,

    Wrote on February 7, 2009 @ 4:50 pm

    oh and thanks, penny. i say shabbos when thinking about my nany and other ancestors. šŸ˜‰

    btw, i read about etta too and was thinking, yah, i get why that would be insulting. i hear she’s (etta’s) still touring. lez go!

  6. Ceggydoo said,

    Wrote on February 7, 2009 @ 5:19 pm

    yea, you have verizon… i am “in” too… our calls to one another are free! I love the perfection of Nany’s ring… THIS is really meant to be. Blessings to you and he šŸ˜‰

  7. washwords said,

    Wrote on February 7, 2009 @ 6:13 pm

    Why thank you kindly, Miss CeggyDoo. I honestly have a phone phobia (thus no landline) so, probably you’ll find me here more! but hey, maybe you’ll break me of the spell for an old friend.:) and thank you, it IS, meant to be, isn’t it? šŸ™‚

  8. Joe said,

    Wrote on February 16, 2009 @ 3:07 pm

    That’s pretty horrible with Verizon. But, being in tech support, I can kind of see where all the confusion comes in.

    Verizon is broken up into many different companies. The cell phone division is an entirely different organization than their home service division. Most likely they do not share customer databases (something that would be simple to do, but would require changing their system, retraining employees, and likely disabling all access to the databases during this transition), which explains why you keep getting routed to the wrong group.

    Then there’s also the lack of coordination within the corporation, itself. Because it’s broken into multiple, independent companies, there’s virtually no communication between the two on a low level (“Low level” meaning tech support/customer service, or pretty much anybody who actually interacts with the customers(you know, the guys who SHOULD be able to do this, since we’re dealing with the customers directly)), so getting the right information is like pulling teeth. Even for us on the other side, it’s hellish trying to communicate with other divisions.

    For example, my previous employer was a cable provider, but their parent company was a multimedia company that works with TV, music, movies, etc. I’ve had people ask me questions about movie productions and get upset when I tell them that I’m not an employee of the parent company.

    It’s something that’s never going to change. Better get used to it, lest you drive yourself crazy trying to fight it. šŸ™

    Joes last post: Movie Theaters, and How to Fix Them

  9. washwords said,

    Wrote on February 16, 2009 @ 3:36 pm

    @Joe: yah. that’s what i thought. sigh, so umm about that conference call thing, when are ya free? šŸ™‚

  10. washwords » Blog Archive » Verizon: update. said,

    Wrote on March 22, 2009 @ 5:04 pm

    […] Verizon, beloved trusty vendor, with your fab customer support, (aHEM, that’s sarcasm, see: here), when I wrote for the new set-top box, and I asked “so EVERYTHING I need is in the […]

  11. washwords » Blog Archive » Haiku Friday: Ms. Fix it said,

    Wrote on July 9, 2009 @ 10:24 pm

    […] week Haiku Friday is also Flashback Friday – ahh […]

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