Given the ennui I’d been feeling, the cabin fever (I mean a week in the cabin, great, but that 9th or 10th day starts hurting….), I could see it starting. I was on a superslick luge track to gold medal snarkery.
Sure, I was proud. I mean this is what I trained for, right? My years apprenticing at the snarktory, my nights by the fire practicing my craft. Don’t get me wrong. I was up for it. I know my abilities to sear veins with vitriol, microsurgery to the heart of the heart. (Oh, did I mention? Scorpio! In my soul.)
And plus, I was Right. About every. single. thing. Every Facebook argument anyone implied (by breathing, coughing, not breathing, not coughing) they wanted to have. And I was ready to battle. Think Lost is the world’s best TV show; blue your favorite color, Beyonce, the world’s best singer?? Uh, no. Incorrect. FAIL. You suck. Lemme tell you why. In 27 points.
Think you know the most about snowflakes, government shut downs, politics, movies. You don’t.
I do. And I can’t bear to let you think so for a minute. Why? Because you’re wrong. WRONG!!!
But the thing was all this rightness wasn’t making me less blue, nor less tired, nor more proud. It was just making me mean. and tired. and empty.
I sat watching the scrolling letters of facebook / twitter/ blog feeds / email/ texts… I felt my teeth clench, knuckles tighten into a ball, eyes strain and bluegray washing over all the very rightness and joy and success I thought I’d been wanting to celebrate.
And suddenly, rising over the foggy, snarky, venomous place, Read the rest of this entry »