washwords

Micro-essays Five through Ten of my 35/365 project.

What’s 35/365 or x365? See here.

5/365 Ben: Two years old. At bedtime, under your covers, after stories, after water and teethbrushing for you and your brother, you tell me, “but I still have words to say.” I remember this 20 years later.

6/365:”Yellow-Line Friend, 2005″ He won’t be coming to the airport, so I take the train through the winter morning, 2005. I can’t stop crying. You hand me a tissue and say it will get better. I believe you.

7/365: Mr. Marusa: In fifth grade, I wonder if I can become an author when I grow up. You say I have talent, and (NOT “but”) that the future is up to me. Thank you for the “and.”

8/365: Joserra: “Do you know of a band, the J. Giles Band? I think that this is most excellent American band, don’t you??” My Basque country hiking guide, you coached me well, guiding me in laughing again.

9/365 Roald Dahl: In Europe, when I was six, we devoured your books. “Danny, the Champion…” Dad read in our Dutch apartment, “James and the Giant Peach,” waiting for the ferry. They were funny and smart and home.

10/365: Matt: You say “You just don’t know how much I need you.”  But I do.
Your need is mine for your strong arms, laughing storytelling, and warm, pure heart enveloping mine. Thank you for finding me.

See here for the complete set as it evolves: http://washwords.com/words/35×365

I tried meditation. A bunch of times.  It helped, if for nothing else that for sitting sans computer in the quiet and kindness. But I couldn’t relax, couldn’t focus on meditating, focused on the noise I was making, the meditation I wasn’t doing, racing, racing thoughts.

I went for a one-on-one with the leader of the class, who suggested I try walking meditation. I liked the idea. But I didn’t try it.

A few months later, work launches a stairclimbing challenge. Simultaneously and separately,  my sweetie and I decide to start walking on the paths behind his house or the city streets toward the Mall near mine. I am walking, more and more, beyond my walks to and from work.

And it is working. Beyond strong calves I feel calm coming in. Clear. Zen.

It is the most beautiful color of all.

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Note: Happy 4th to all!!! I have also added a few posts to X365.

My new friend, Eleni and her husband, are wanting to give. They’re wanting to give big – they’re wanting to give… themselves, to a child who needs them. Below is her letter that asks simply, can you help in any way, big or small, with this giving?

I know mentioning adoption, fertility, babies, spurs emotion of all kind. Whatever it spurs in you, I hope you’ll read her eloquent thoughts and keep her in mind, and in your heart.

Dear Friends:

After five years trying to conceive, we have made the decision to adopt a child. We feel adoption is a beautiful way to bring a child into our lives and to fulfill our dream of becoming parents. We have a lot of love, support, guidance and laughter to give.

Read the rest of this entry »