washwords

My mom and I are off for five days four nights at the spa. The weather is beautiful, I can see the ocean from my bed and be in it in less than 20 seconds and I’ve already taken a class that kicked my booty (literally) and am off to a spa treatment. So I’m NOT COMPLAINING but…

Since our arrival at FLL (ft. lauderdale airport), things have been.. well just a step or two off. Don’t get me wrong, everyone’s nice and friendly and we’re having a great time but…

Among our encounters so far:

• the airport taxi driver who angrily said “pompANo, pomPANo, you have number? I take 95! 95! but then pomPANo, you understand, left or right? you been there before? I’ll take 95!!!” okay lady, 95 it is.
• then, of course because its my mom and me, we’re starving. lunch is served in the bar and right away I see it’s a relaxed pace. The bartender tells us “if someone doesn’t come out in a few minutes, come back.” we do (the sandwiches were delicious btw!)
• While at the picnic table, trying to “wait patiently” for our lunch (not a forte for mom or me) a passerby at the next table says to me (why oh why does my face say “chat with me” to every passerby) “at least they didn’t take your car!” umm, stolen cars? I pray my mom isn’t listening. He goes on “yup, they gave the car to my daughter. they weren’t supposed to do that.” Uhh, okay sir. A few minutes later, he offers up, “You didn’t order the crab cake did you????” gulp, my mom did. “A few years ago we had one that was … messy.” A few years ago?? Helpful.
• So we go back to see if our room is ready. Nope. I say “and I wasn’t sure what came in the package or how that worked.” The girl at the front desk says “oh, yes, you’ll get vouchers for your services and stuff.” Great! Then she hands us a coupon “Buy one drink, get one free.” Uh-oh, umm I thought the package came with dinners and massages and fitness classes. So did mom who simply says “UHH, so this it??” oyville. fortunately, all is straightened out (after a few more tries “oh yeah, we’re printing them” we get our vouchers)
• We go to use one said voucher “free dinner” at dinner that night. But in addition to entrees, we get wine, salads. The bill comes and the waitress says our coupon covers it all! Really? But then she brings us a bill for everything “that’s just how it works” hmm. really?

You get the picture. We’re off to massages now. I look forward to both the treatment itself and what zany mix-up might ensue. Stay tuned.