Tag Archive for return

Testing 1 2 3 or Just start, redeux

Starting with an apology has begun to become cliche and,for this blog anyway, just redundant.

But I am. Sorry for anyone who hung on, hoping I might return and to those who stumbled here accidentally and got…nothing. Blank sky , white wash.

But mostly, I am sorry to me, myself for stopping. My fellow writer pal (one of many I’ve never met but have known in some deeper place from long ago) expressed the hunger, exquisitely.
It hurts me not to write. Not (just ;)) in some tortured “oh woe is the Writer ” way. No I mean something much much more basic. It hurts my head, spinning muddled banalities. It hurts my heart, opening all the wrong doors to familiar ghosts — blues and lows that sink and sludge. It hurts my stomach, gurgling the junk food of laziness of mind and body.

I know this. And yet I don’t or easily forget anyway. I can’t take back the forgetting.

All I can do is start. Again.

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    www.sajithmr.com

Politically. Correct.

Oh Hai. Remember me?

Probably not, save the five of you faithful friends who keep checking lo these many weeks. And mom. Hi mom! Shout out to mom!!!

Anywho, it’s been more than a month I’m sad to say and I don’t even have a good excuse. Just… well… life.  In a good way, life has been…. happening!  It’s allllll good. No, seriously, it’s ALL good, really good, joyousness.

I’m getting married, moving in finalllllly with my love (shh, don’t say anything. you’ll jinx it), have reconnected with tons of old friends (thanx facebook!), and making new ones in the way i love best, through long shared writing (thanks election and funny long political email chains enabling bright fun people to reveal their best selves).

And even better… good is all around me. Babies are being born, brides seem to be multiplying all around me, my beloved niece “bucket” is starting to talk and make faces and have a spirit, a true self.

Work is quieting down, papers are starting to fall into place and although there’s one final step left (or two) towards my much-anticipated new chapter, I am starting to breathe again.

Because the other thing is… the reason it was so hard to be here, especially so in October… is because it’s tough to be apolitical (as my government job and all journalistic jobs before it) require when it matters so much. So very much. I’m a cynic (again, job requirement of journalism); I voted how I voted and hoped for the best but inside I was unconvinced it really truly mattered. Until this time. When it did. When it does.

And I am breathing again.

Yes, the economy is bad; yes, we’re feeling it directly and see plenty hit harder everyday; yes, much like my much-anticipated next personal chapter we’re a step, or two, or twelve away. But it’s coming.  I can feel it. And I can breathe again.

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