Tag Archive for meditation

Freedom From Face(book)

Given the ennui I’d been feeling, the cabin fever (I mean a week in the cabin, great,  but that 9th or 10th day starts hurting….), I could see it starting.  I was on a superslick luge track to gold medal snarkery.

Sure, I was proud. I mean this is what I trained for, right? My years apprenticing at the snarktory, my nights by the fire practicing my craft. Don’t get me wrong. I was up for it. I know my abilities to sear veins with vitriol, microsurgery to the heart of the heart. (Oh, did I mention? Scorpio! In my soul.)

And plus, I was Right. About every. single. thing. Every Facebook argument anyone implied (by breathing, coughing, not breathing, not coughing) they wanted to have.  And I was ready to battle.  Think  Lost is the world’s best TV show;  blue your favorite color, Beyonce, the world’s best singer??  Uh, no. Incorrect. FAIL. You suck. Lemme tell you why. In 27 points.

Think you know the most about snowflakes, government shut downs, politics, movies. You don’t.

I do. And I can’t bear to let you think so for a minute. Why? Because you’re wrong. WRONG!!!

But the thing was all this rightness wasn’t making me less blue, nor less tired, nor more proud. It was just making me mean. and tired. and empty.

I sat watching the scrolling letters of facebook / twitter/ blog feeds / email/ texts… I felt my teeth clench, knuckles tighten into a ball, eyes strain and bluegray washing over all the very rightness and joy and success I thought I’d been wanting to celebrate.

And suddenly, rising over the foggy, snarky, venomous place, Read the rest of this entry »

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Haiku Friday: Relief

Haiku Friday

“full is not heavy”
presentation done
head opening, body melts
i heave relief. deep.

mind hits heart hits core
comfort,done tires, too, but
full is not heavy

Buddhist class teaches
anger is your creation
yours to stop then, too

You can’t purify
old hurts that pull from merit
’til you stop the now.

baby steps can be
quite rocky, and yet they are
the most important

for more Washwords’ (and friends) haikus see Haiku You

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Avinu Malkeinu: the words that music speaks

Today is Yom Kippur, the day of atonement for my faith, the closing of the 10 day period of the new year, of reflection for the year behind, of looking to the year ahead.

Truth be told, I love this time of year. I love the rituals of cleansing, purifying,  the haunting melodies,  the looking ahead and celebrating first so that filled up with love and hope and promise, you can more properly atone for sins, and reform into someone better, stronger, more authentic.

I especially love the poetry, the music of our services. I sing “Avinu Malkeinu” to myself throughout the year (no doubt especially annoying friends and neighbors this time of year) and unlike my favorite songs in English where it’s the lyrics I most connect to, focus on; in prayer, it’s the melody – the haunting beautiful notes that express better where my heart is dwelling then the actual words sometimes can.  “Our Father, Our King” the literal translation of that prayer’s title, isn’t what the song speaks to me.

Rather, it says loudly, softly, heartfully, tearfully, pleadingly, “I’m sorry.”

It says: I’ll do better. I’m working on it. I do have love in my heart of hearts, I do appreciate the riches I have.

It says: I am joyful, exhuberant, warmed by this community, even when they are strangers. I am home here with this familiar melody I seem to have always known, by the ability to sing fully, forcefully, till I’m dizzy and hoarse.

It says: Thank you. Thank you, God, if that’s what you believe in. Thank you friends and loved ones. Thank you strangers for forgiving me the sins and offenses I don’t even know I’m committing. Thank you love for finding me, thank you world for recognizing the talents and strengths I have.

And it says this: There’s going to be hurt, there’s going to be mistakes and pains and some of them are going to be your fault. And

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