Tag Archive for marriage

Like apples and honey: a break for sweet

After a day that went like this:

me: — $700 billion bailout bill fails in House. Dow down by nearly 600 points
Pal: it failed!!!
so what is the next thing??

me: yeppers

Pal: holy *&^*&^*&^&
well i still don’ tunderstand it
i thought it was a bad thing
i don’t quite understand it!!

me: nor i

Pal: I mean, $700 billion?
Pal: they cold give a billion dollars to everyone in the country
andstill come out ahead

me: but selfishly, more bad news
me: this means we may have trouble refinancing

Pal: ohnoes
me: and getting me and [sweetie] in together, living in one place
Pal: NOOOOOOOES
me: awwwwhoooo
Pal: NOES NOESNOES

me: right!? awwwwhooo

me: agjkagljkfgljkfg
Pal: SLDKFJOIFHOAIHAOIH

I wound up with a day that ended like this: sweet, like apples and honey. Here is I wrote the very same pals regarding my evening:

a rare happy sweet moment in honor of rosh hashanah. I brought [my love] tonight and after a string of bringing boys who hate hate hate it or at least sit and sulk or pout and fold arms, (including yes, several Jewish exes) I am a little nervous, starting to “prep” him.

he tells me he’ll be fine and he is. he likes it. he pays attn. he says i have a beautiful singing voice (with bronchitis) he asks me questions. he thanks me for bringing him. and says he feels at home.

also, he says he is glad i brought up agljagljkdfgjkdjlkdgljkdfgjlkfdgdf housing frustrations and that we WILL do what it takes to make this work and that we WILL be together.

I believe him.

We have dinner and ride the Metro home. he has to go to Va., me DC tongiht, but we have this sweet train ride home laughing and talking and i feel a zillion times better than i did just a few hours ago – PEACEFUl, like your [engagement] toast said, [“Pal”] and he says “shana tova” as I’m standing up to get off the train – my stop is first- and kisses me when i get off the train. awww.

yes, i’ll be angry and bossy again sometime, we’ll both make mistakes and be not forgiving enough, but tonight, things are sweet and I thought i could share because I know you’ll know it’s not gloaty, it’s just… a moment of love. awww. wishing you both all the same peace. less agjlaljagljkadgjklagljk and more peace. zen.love.

I wish you, all six readers as Soupy Meg likes to say, the same. L’shana tova. Here’s to the sweetest of sweet new years. No matter what’s happening in the outside world.

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    www.sajithmr.com

I’m jealous of YOU

In “Jealousy Isn’t Always An Ugly Emotion | BlogHer” BlogHer contributing editor Rita Arens writes about some of the jealousy she sees cropping up in the blogosphere, in particular among her fellow “mommy bloggers” or at least female bloggers.

In particular, I was struck by people’s jealousy of “famous bloggers.” Arens describes (incredibly well and demonstrating an incredibly healthy psyche) her reaction to an email that asked how she and other big-time BlogHers could go on writing “as if they were normal people” when so clearly they weren’t – there were celebrities! The emailer writes

if someone‚Äôs blog became popular or famous because they were writing about their “normal” or “mundane” life, how do they continue to make money off of their blog when their life is certainly nothing like it was when the blog first became famous?

Regarding this email, Arens comments (again, verrry verry healthy woman here, Read the rest of this entry »

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dreaming pink diamonds

I’ve never really been a girly girl. God knows I’m no tomboy (that would imply being sporty, which I am not) but ribbons, make-up, heels, shopping? eh.

Likewise for jewelry. It’s not that I don’t spoil myself or like the finer things but… spas and five-star hotels are more my weakness than flashy fashions or gems.

Usually.

When I was married, I came to love the sparkly diamond. I missed it when it was gone. But it, much like I probably was to my then inlaws, was a curiousity. I never fully understood or recognized it. It wasn’t fully me. People would tell me it was big or it was a particular cut and I would stare back, “mmm?” I had no words, no expertise in this arena.

pink by Peter on flickr

So it was a surprise that this time around, I’ve been dreaming diamonds. Pink diamonds. Pink like the color, not of the sunset but of the glassy sea in the twilight of the shore. I didn’t even know such a thing existed (till, blush, I looked it up and found it). I’ve dreamed the platinum antique setting – delicate, wiry, dreamed the bliss of it on my finger and the serenity of real, profound joy.

There is some sadness in joy, my wise friend “A” told me on that other long-ago wedding day. And behind this glassy pink sea is sorrow, too. I am sorry that I didn’t know how to love like this before, sorry that I didn’t know that than, or know at least enough to say I wasn’t ready. I am sad that gold and big didn’t ever fit me right, though I wanted desparately to meld with that ring.

I mourn the lives we didn’t create together, the one that flickered in shared laughs, late-night talks and true, real friendship. And I hope, deep in the core of my being that you are finding your own glassy pink sea and that it is smooth and sparkly and sacred. I hope it suits you and brings you the surprising joy my dreams of pink diamond oceans have brought me. Mine is a joy of lessons learned, rock-solid friendships, love hard found and yet as comfortable as that warm sea, as ancient and as deep.

Thank you.

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