Posts Tagged ‘friend’
Independence is the easy part
Written by washwords on July 3, 2008 – 12:36 am
I wrote poetry in bluegreen notebooks:“ Dependent, from Latin,meaning: to hang fromSo tonight I am wondering:Do I hang from you? “
Hanging from was not a good thing, I concluded then. I would not hang from, not from him or anyone.
So I didn’t. Didn’t say “I love you.” Didn’t love fully. And didn’t hang from.
I thought it would protect me. From hurt, from risk, from giving too much, losing myself, blending into another. But the walls I built were sheer and cool and blew over in the wind. They were poor fortresses.
Thank God.
In came the stabs and embraces and hurts and loves of the people around me, whether I wanted them or not, whether I depended or not.
I am still careful with loving, with depending. I am an independent woman, with a good job, real estate , a life, a world. To me, that’s the easy part.
Being a “dependent woman” of sorts – depending on and being depended on – has been harder to learn. And it’s been 4th-of-July-fireworks explosively fufilling – a kind of love that grows and widens and stuns and satiates. I am still learning to hang from, to trust I won’t blow over or become an unnecessary appendage. Sometimes I do fall. And sometimes, if I let them, someone or someones catches me.
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Tags: dependence, feminism, friend, independence, love, mental health, poetry, trust, writing
Posted in poetry | 2 Comments »
Blue
Written by washwords on July 2, 2008 – 5:59 pmI haven’t been writing as much lately. Yes, I’ve been busy with work and work and work. Yes, I’ve been trying to learn about some other facets of the internet to grow my blog and make it better, perhaps even profitable.
But also, I’ve been blue. Deep, beautiful, aquamarine blue, in my core. Read more »
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Tags: blue, colors, depressed, depression, despondent, emotion, family, friend, hang in there, head, heart, how to, hurt, hurting, life is good, links, logic, love, mental health, poetry, reason, sad, writing, WW friends
Posted in poetry | 3 Comments »
Home is…
Written by washwords on June 16, 2008 – 3:23 pmToo cheesy to say “where the heart is” ?
Probably. But it’s true.
I’ve been thinking a lot about home lately. Not just because Nablopomo told me to think about it – it’s their theme for June, but ABOUT home. About where it is, how you know it, how you hold onto it, how you move to be sheltered by it when it shifts.
It started with a trip home. Well, to the home where I grew up, the town I grew up. “my hometown…. this is myyy home town…” It was a trip to take my boyfriend “home.” So where you grow up? That must be home.
On that trip, I went literally home, back to the source, to THE home, the physical home where I grew up; the home, serendipitously enough, that one of my very bestest friends in the 3rd, 4th, 5th grades had just purchased… with her husband…. and baby.
It filled me with joy. Here was the home where she and I had played. She could teach her son that the evergreen tree was hollow inside if you poked in just the right way, that the basement cabinets made an excellent clubhouse, that the spot to the left of the staircase was perfect for spying on whoever was below.
V had been there when my dad passed the rule “no more dr. scholls.” Too many girls were getting the think wooden heels of those monstrosities stuck on our thin deck and being catapulted into the backyard! She was there for birthday parties, scavenger hunts, t ball games and trips to ground round for sundaes in baseball caps.
I couldn’t wait to see it.
But I also was afraid. This was the home where my father, and my memories of him, lived. And it was the home where he died, making the brightest and Read more »
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Tags: blog posting month, childhood, dad, deck, elementary school, family, father, father loss, flood, friend, grief, growing up, heart, home, home is, home is just another word for you, home is where the heart is, homecoming, joy, june, loss, love, mom, nablopomo, new, pain, renew, returning, rules, theme, writing, young family
Posted in words | 6 Comments »
