Seriously? SEER Re us lee.

Ah commuting, so loverly.
Here are some things I am not a fan of on my commute (I’m talkin to you ORANGE LINE!)

  • People who run. It’s work, people. That’s why they call it work, not happy fun time place. What’s the hurry? Today, new one, someone RAN onto the elevator. RAN. Full steam ahead, panting. N.B.: There are about 10 elevators at my Ginormous gov. office building. In EACH bank. There’s gonna be another one. Ditto trains. Which brings me to…
  • People who jam-pack the trains. Folks, see the little handy sign with the neon letters. See how it says “1 minute.” One. Minute. Seriously?? Seriously. You’d rather jam your self and your twenty giant bags (each seeming to contain a disproportionate amount of right angled objects, stabbing me in the head) into the train, then wait … a minute… for the next one.
  • Sneezers, wheezers, and other germ-festians. Stay home. Seriously. Here’s the latest grossest thing observed, just yesterday: Sneezer dude PICKED his nose, right on the trade, not even a sneak pick either, full on pickage! and then… that’s right, with the SAME HAND, he held onto the ring for standers on the train. Ohhhh.
  • Seat sprawlers. There are several methods for this. My latest least fave: bag abusers. The other a.m., on the orange line, megas galore, hogging and sprawling, finally i get a seat. It is tight and I find myself needing to sit sideways into the aisle. I blame the widening of America and well, let’s be honest, the widening of me. But when I get off the train? I notice … noooo, Sprawly McSprawlington had his red boxy (note the many right angles in a rectangle) LUNCH box on my seat. Didn’t even pretend to try to swoop it up before the person before me or I sat down. Even though I had my bad ON MY LAP as he was taking up all floor space and arm span space with his paper opening and foot tapping. Harumph. I still need to get to the gym though.

XXXX OOOOO, your pal grump a lot.

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  1. DCBlogs » DC Blogs Noted said,

    Wrote on March 19, 2009 @ 12:04 am

    […] very own lovely WashWords takes on the mantle of Metro/public behavior enforcement. If only people would do what we tell them. […]

    WW Says: Thanks for the shout-out Foilwoman. I had the most hellatious of days and didn’t even see this (or my blog or the outside world) till now, end of friday. Couldn’t have come at a better time. Just when I was wondering, hey, do the other eds. know they can still pick me? meeeeee, meeeeee, meeeeeee. seriously I appreciate it so much. and yes, peeps should do what we, umm, by which I mean *I* say.

  2. Elly said,

    Wrote on March 19, 2009 @ 9:01 am

    Yes!! I couldn’t agree more. Furthermore – did you notice last night that tourist season seems to be starting again? This can only mean one thing – not only will we be battling against frantic commuters, but against screaming babies and clueless out-of-towners who stand on the left side of the elevator!

    WW says: Oh yes, Elly. “Did I notice?” ha! my personal five is the double-wide baby stroller at 5:01 tourist. yes, rush hour is a fab time for baby sightseeing? (not to mention that this kid doesn’t care about the sites? Open a cupboard at home. Save yourself and us!
    Welcome to Washwords. Thanks for droppin by and please return soon!

  3. Frank L said,

    Wrote on March 19, 2009 @ 10:42 am

    Per usual, couldn’t disagree with you more regarding Etiquette.

    Not everyone running is going to work-some of them are probably running to buy you lovely gifts.

    Ditto for the Jam packers. Besides, are you telling me you actually TRUST the numbers they post on the signs.

    Sure sick people should stay home-but what if they are going to the doctor? I take the train to my doctor b/c I don’t have a car and i don’t particularly have cab fare to be throwing around-and I’m rather well off comparative to others in the city.

    And the best way to deal with a bag sprawler is to say “Excuse me, I’d like to sit here.” Embarrass the space taker upper, and they will give in.

    But then again, I think we should be able to eat and drink on the Metro-so we’ve clearly never seen eye to eye on Public Trans 🙂


    WW says: Frankie, baby, softie, can I call you softie? great! softie it is.I’m glad you’re at peace with agreeing to disagree aka with your wrongness. Probably not worth it or fair to the rest of the loverly WW readers to wax on point by point in the ways you’re wrong, tempting though that is.
    So I’ll just say: sure, SOME people are sickies en route to medical attn. and SOME people are rushing to work that involves saving the world or at least baby pandas – i like baby pandas much as the next gal- but… the nose-pickin, pointy-baggin, loud-talkin, gum chompin rider who ALWAYS seems to sit right next to moi… well, they’re just Jerky McJerkingtons. Agreed? I thought so. XXXX and OOOOO. happy march madness to ye!

  4. Willa said,

    Wrote on March 19, 2009 @ 10:55 am

    I overheard a conversation between 2 people on the red line a few weeks back that confirmed my suspicions about people who run. The guy was thanking a woman, who he was following down the escalator, for running. “I hate when people just walk,” he said. “I know,” she responded. Yeah, assholes, it sucks to have to share the world with other people.

    WW says: Hi Willa, Welcome to the WW show. bwah ha ha. I KNOW- mean, like, another thing I hate is when people breathe. fuckas. Seriously, I’m all for MOVING down the stairs, even at a brisk, spring-in-your-step cuz gosh darn it, you’re en route to WORK, the mecca of all joyousness, but running, pushing, giving a georgetown-esque elbow to the gut, that’s not cool man! Thanks for stopping by. Hope to see you again soon!

  5. Chris said,

    Wrote on March 19, 2009 @ 8:55 pm

    For some reason, women who outweigh me by many stones (I’m 170lb) seem to enjoy sitting next to me. If I were a woman, the Metro would scare me to death. The creep factor is off the charts.

    As for speed…a lot of people need to get to their shitty jobs quickly, so they can put off doing their shitty work and leave precisely at five to return to their shitty lives. Give them a break!

    WW says: Welcome Chris, thanks for checking out the blog, and COMMENTING –and not even just this post! bonus points! (funny, thought I recognized the snark! confirmed!)
    oh yes, creep factor, i haven’t even talked about the non-stander-uppers when someone is clearly struggling, the pushing women and children down to get to a seat peeps, the “accidental” brushings, the inappropriate eye contact. and yepper, nose pickers, almost all men. women are more likely to be “drunk” aka loudly laughing and talking about S E X. giggggggleeee! equally annoying imho

  6. Deidre said,

    Wrote on March 23, 2009 @ 10:00 pm

    I am a bag offender – I will leave my bag on the seat until the last possible moment. I can’t help it I’d rather not sit next to stinky man with pit stains you know? But if the tram is getting crowded, I’d of course move my bag!

    I dislike it when the tram is empty and people sit right next to you. what’s up with that? is sitting facing forward THAT important?

    I also dislike when I don’t see men give up their seats for the elderly. I give up my seat – cuz I am a lady, biatches.

    Deidres last post: With my hit single "Back off my uterus, bitch"

  7. DCBlogs » DC Blogs Noted said,

    Wrote on April 3, 2009 @ 12:03 am

    […] the Metro, and the people who ride it? Did I not TELL you the Metro runners have issssuessss? Adventures in Knitting and Other Geeky Mishaps agrees with me in her tale of woe, Do I really like […]

  8. Persequi said,

    Wrote on April 3, 2009 @ 1:17 pm

    My favorite of all times are the escalator jammers. These are the people who stand on the left side of the escalator and don’t let the people who walk up the escalators get by. I don’t understand why, with traffic as bad as it is, they have to cause traffic at the metro. Wait a minute, they are probably the same ones who drive on the left, slower than the speed limit.

    WW says: Welcome Persequi. So glad you found us and shared your thoughts. and yes, oh yes, I do indeed hate the escalator jammers. They’re a well-known troublemaking group. But the runners are no better. Which is why… I feel everyone should abide by the Washwords rules! Walk purposefully, mindfully, aware of the world around you, quickly but not ridiculously. It’s really so simple. duh.

  9. Kizi said,

    Wrote on April 4, 2009 @ 8:18 pm

    Uh…yeah…I NEVER touch anything in the train with my hands. I’ve seen way too many nose picking bar grabbers. Another thing is people who rest their heads against the windows. Ever see the grease marks they leave behind? I have to admit, most days I am a seat edger. I sit on the end with my bag next to me. This is because I am saving the seat for my hubby who gets on 4 stops later. I even pretend I’m sick (tissue to nose, coughing) when we stop at the next stations so that people will walk past. If someone asks to sit next to me, -sorry Frank L – it does not embarrass me. I let them and sweetly smile and hubby sits elsewhere. When I’m alone, I happily share my seat. My favorite people are the door jammers who stick their hand or foot in the closing door and get stuck!! What idiots!

    WW says: Welcome Kizi… yah, good thinking on the not touching. I try to walk right to the sinks to wash my hands after any metro ride but yah…. just when i think i’ve seen it all. As for seat saving….I really like sitting, admittedly. I can walk long distances so it’s not (sheer) laziness; I just get dizzy, ill from the standing jostling. I had a bit of a test the other day… after letting several trains pass, I (finally) got a seat. An elderly woman got on and despite there being YOUNG ABLE-BODIED Men in the actual handicapped seats, came up to me and said “excuse me?” motioning to the seat. I got up, of course (I passed right?) and was embarrassed to have not seen her but inside i was thinking “sigh. really? no one else can get up?” selfish, yah, but somehow it’s always me. Anyway, thanks for the visit. Hope you’ll be back with more thoughts/reactions.

  10. BC said,

    Wrote on April 6, 2009 @ 10:40 am

    I’m not sure I have ever understood why DC Metro riders are so extremely passive aggressive. I think, in general, many people see someone doing something illegal (eating, drinking on the Metro, playing music sans headphones) or just idiotic (holding doors open, walking onto a car before anyone gets out, the tapered gauntlet effect getting off the train) but hardly anyone ever comments. They stare angrily. These things don’t go unnoticed, but almost always go uncommented. This wouldn’t happen in most major cities. Why’s the District like that? Sidebar: And why on earth do people walk through the emergency doors while the train is in motion? Are they insane?

    WW says:Oh my freakin god, exactly!!! what’s with peeps? so many favorites… people glaring is def. a DC specialty. and when they DO speak up, it’s with this panicky lacking-air fire, like “YOU -gasp – can’t – stand -gasp gasp…-you!!! can – gassssp – have to – go -sigggh- get away!!!!” heh. glad someone knows what i’m sayin.

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