Fat girls and skinny bitches
Written by washwords on August 3, 2008 – 11:41 amCan’t we all just get along?
After spending the morning on blogher, reading about the NYT relegation of the blogher confererence to the style section and whether “mommy-blogging” is a term of empowerment or a mechanism for belittling, I came to Joy Nash’s “A Fat Rant” on Gena’s On the Stoop (and from there to LaurieStar’s response, “A thin rant.”) This fem-centered morning has me thinking a lot about the way we treat each other, the way we think of “women’s issues” and “women’s places,” be it in the media, the blogosphere or the mall.
YouTube – A Fat Rant
YouTube – A Thin Rant
I’m neither Joy’s size nor Laurie’s (though closer to Joy’s by far!) and I admit being one of the eyerollers at the tiny ones. More because “it’s not fair” – a big thing with me, I realize. It’s not fair that skinny girls are (See more after the jump.)
skinny. Likewise it’s not fair that women writers are called “mommybloggers” whether or not they’re mommies or not, whether or not they want to be mommies or not. It’s not fair that someone’s feelings might be hurt by this presumption.
And it is way definitely absopositively not fair that the NYT awarded a full-legnth magazine feature for cripes sakes to former-Gawker Emily Gould to whine about how she over-exposed herself. Not because she’s a woman or young or a blogger, but because the writing was trite, her whining trivial and the piece reinforced every worst stereotype many of us were trying to fight against. Um in my humble opinion. (What WAS fair: many, many, MANY people agreed with me. The NYT had to close comments people were so enraged over this piece.)
But maybe “fair” isn’t everything. Or rather, maybe the way to change what’s “fair” and what’s not, is to start reframing the conversation. There was lots of talk on blogher and other places on whether the New York Times deciding a major well-attended highly-endorsed BUSINESS conference (Blogher 08) should have been “relegated” to the Style pages. A few wise commenters got me thinking – why is the style section a place where you’re relegated, why is the personal/the emotional a place of lesser importance. The success of blogher, and, sigh, Ms. Gould’s work in the blogosphere and in the NYT, suggests that maybe what is personal IS important.
Haven’t women always been the “target demographic”? I’d say that’s never been true than today. What do you think (whether male or female) about Fairness, Women’s Issues, and Women’s coverage? I want to hear from you!
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Tags: blogher, body image, fairness, family, fat girls, feminism, friend, girls, images, justice, media, mental health, self-esteem, skinny, skinny bitches, weight, women, women's friendships
Posted in words | 10 Comments »
August 3rd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Man, I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure it all out, and I go back and forth on it all the time. I saw a lot of really good points about the NYT BlogHer thing. And, the Emily Gould thing? I actually read that very shortly before shutting down my blog in June. It was heavily on my mind, regardless of whether or not it was well-written or how much space it took up. Mostly, this whole Internet thing is very, very new (in the grand scheme of things) and, unlike new things of the past, we are evolving/devolving it every second with every single word we type. It’s fascinating.
August 3rd, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Aaaaand that comment needed to be about three times as long in order for it to make any kind of sense, but I’m too tired to explain it. Here is what I really meant to say: Great post!
August 3rd, 2008 at 5:03 pm
I was flabbergasted at the NYT placement:
http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2008/07/26/blog-gals-good-news-and-bad-news/
Worse, the article did not give me enough substance to decide if I should preview the upcoming BlogHer DC event.
August 3rd, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Thanks everyone!
Maggie: welcome to domainville. please teach me everything you know. cause i’m sure you know things i don’t.
and actually, both posts made sense, kinda. though i always appreciate the lovey love.
Mike: I am similarly wondering if I should attend/try to speak at/ what to do for blogherdc. I’ll probably go at least. hope to see you there. Glad you found me.
August 3rd, 2008 at 9:58 pm
p.s. why am i anon. on my own blog. i do not know.
August 4th, 2008 at 10:13 am
I got no thoughts or comments on the way women treat each other-that stopped making sense a long time ago.
I do have some thoughts about why the NYT would run it in the style section though: It’s blogging. And I know, I know there are plenty of business aspects to Blogher but there are business aspects to any venture-it doesn’t all merit a business section posting. People view blogging (and not just Lady-Blogging, but all blogging) as a hip and fashion thing. It’s trendy to blog, whether you take it serious or not, and so its going to appeal best in Style.
As far as I’m concerned a review of a comic book, especially one like Watchmen deserves to be in the Books/Literature Sunday section-but it never is. It’s always in style. Why? Because its trendy to read comics right now.
And w/r/t Mommyblogging? That’s much ado about nothing. Back in the early 90′s The Counting Crows were called “Alternative” and “Grunge” rock even though they are neither. Why? Because it was trendy as hell to be an alternative or grunge rock band. Same now. It’s hip and hot and all to be a blogger, especially an upwardly mobile mom blogger who not only takes care of her kids but knows how the Internet works. So the words, right now, are getting thrown around because its hot to do so.
If they could find a “Green Mommyblogger” who has a viral ad campaign using her twitter feed to promote her upcoming cameo in Sex And The City 2-the Style section would have a teeny tiny orgasm (in a very liberated way-of course.)
Hate to sound so jaded-but this too will pass. It’ll get old and Blogher won’t be in the style section anymore-or the paper at all really-and Mommyblogging will go the way of “Carb Free” and Crystal Pepsi.
Also check your account settings to see if you’ve actually set up your blog with a username. That might be why you are anon.
August 4th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Frankie! You are a blog genius! I take back what I said to Maggie – will YOU teach me everything you do about domainville blogging? I am washwords again. yippeee!!!!
As for your other comments, thanks for the thoughtful remarks. I agree on every point,actually, though I can see multiple sides on the converage issue and mommyblogging. all tres interesting food for thought. You made me spit up my diet coke with the “green mommyblogger” line (second time today coke has exploded on me. but that’s a different story).
As for “features” (not just cause I was a former features editor / writer), as I say above I actually think that’s the best place to be. I’m a magazine/feature writer at heart still – I looooveee trends and social / pop culture stuff. I eat it for breakfast.
There is a great book “Floater” based on Newsweek (sshh. top secret) where the features editor walks around asking “Is that a trend? I think that’s a trend.”
Speaking of which… I have more trends to write about…. thanks for stopping by WW, even when I was anon. I’m back! thanks to you!
August 4th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I will check out floater, and your thanks are appreciated…
Now just remember your old buddy at TheSoftLounge Blog when you are posting for DCBlogs… (I had a good one about the Exxon/Nationals..cough cough…just saying).
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