Blue

I haven’t been writing as much lately. Yes, I’ve been busy with work and work and work. Yes, I’ve been trying to learn about some other facets of the internet to grow my blog and make it better, perhaps even profitable.

But also, I’ve been blue. Deep, beautiful, aquamarine blue, in my core.

There’s no reason for it.  There usually isn’t.  It just comes. And fills up my insides.

In fact, life is good. I’m in love, I have work I (mostly) like, good friends, a beautiful niece I get to see lots, who lights me up with her laugh and her wriggly, cuddly self, literally rolling over me. It’s summer time, the sky is wide and bright. I have plans and friends and resources to enact them with.

I am lucky and I know it. But I don’t feel it. That’s how depression works. Logic and the heart fail to connect. I can almost see the synapses missing.

I know what to do. I go for walks, I talk to friends. I see my niece, play with my two special doggie friends, take deep breaths, tell myself it will pass.

And, eventually, it does. It will. It is.

I am lucky.  I know I can wait it out. Even when it hurts and tears come for no reason and the blue is everywhere. I can see clear is ahead. I couldn’t always. And so I believe it is better, already; and believe it will continue to become better still. It will for you, too. Hang in there.

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3 Comments

  1. soupisnotafingerfood said,

    Wrote on July 2, 2008 @ 7:17 pm

    Boy, I sure as f**k hope so. Tonight I freaked out in Harris-Teeter because, at 6:30 pm, they were OUT OF HOT FRIED CHICKEN. Only cold was available. I wanted HOT, you know, for DINNER?? And then I realized, the weight of propping up everyone else had reached its maximum, the damn chicken was the proverbial straw, and my back was broke. Surely this too shall pass. Thank gawd we have a long weekend comin’.

  2. Nancy said,

    Wrote on July 2, 2008 @ 9:04 pm

    I think maybe there’s something in the air lately — I know lots of people feeling a bit blue. Hope you have a nice long weekend, though. Federal holidays rock!

  3. Mom said,

    Wrote on July 3, 2008 @ 12:18 pm

    Seeing the clear (or knowing it will come) is an amazing accomplishment!

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